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The numbers were good, but feelings were bad: The US economy in 2024

Dear Eric: The last four years of my father’s life, I was a near constant caregiver. I visited him daily, did his lawn work, took him to doctor’s appointments, to the barber, occasionally to dinner or a movie. I always took care of his finances and medications. He would call me as many as 10 or 15 times a day. After he died about a year ago, I have been overcome with guilt. There were times when his constant needs overtook my life. I had no social outlet of my own. I didn’t handle this pressure well and would occasionally lash out in anger at my father. A week before he died, I made him cry. I live each day now with a regret I cannot seem to shake. I visit his grave every week and ask for forgiveness. I can tell myself that if I had not been able to help him, he would not have been able to stay in his home, something he desperately wanted to do until the end. Others have commented on my sacrifices for my father. But I still have this feeling that I was a bad son, and it weighs down on all aspects of my life now. I’ve become isolated in my guilt and grief. I don’t know what I need to do to once again find joy. — Still Grieving Dear Still Grieving: My heart aches for you. There’s no perfect caregiver; there’s no perfect son; there’s no perfect grief. With time, try to offer yourself forgiveness. Because it sounds like, even with the moments of frustration or fatigue, your father didn’t see you as a bad son. When faced with the uncontrollable — the illness of loved ones, our inability to stop death — we often hyperfocus on what we think we can control. But, by your own account, you did the best you could, and your father’s quality of life was better because of it. If you can, please work with a grief counselor to process these feelings. Keep talking to those you trust, who can listen without judgment and without trying to rush you. Dear Eric: I am a 72-year-old woman who lives alone. I live in a one-story, two-bedroom condo. The mortgage is paid off. I don’t have any family here. I am also divorced. I have cousins who live in another state, and I haven’t seen them in many years. I am the youngest cousin. So, I am thinking about my end-of-life plans. I don’t have any serious health problems, but I am not totally healthy. I have two friends who have been here for me for many years. However, I am hesitant to ask one of them to be my power of attorney. They want to help me make my end-of-life plans and decide what to do if I can no longer live alone. There is nobody else I can ask to be my POA. Any advice you can give me would be appreciated. — Plan Hesitation Dear Plan: If your friends have expressed a desire to help you, please take them up on it. Your friends have been there for you in good times and in times of need, as surely as you have been for them. Think of this as another way to affirm your bond. If you’re worried about it being an imposition, don’t be afraid to share that with your friends. This is a vulnerable ask and it’s OK to have complicated feelings about it. You may be surprised to find they don’t feel it’s an imposition at all. If you haven’t already, you may also want to talk with a lawyer about the responsibilities of power of attorney. Thinking through the specifics of what you’re asking may make it easier. Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com . Get local news delivered to your inbox!

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, António found himself at a crossroads. Would he continue his exploration of Beijing's hidden treasures, or would he heed the call of his heart and return to Portugal, the place he had long considered home?